Handfasting Weddings: Rituals, Symbolism, and Planning Tips
What Is Handfasting?
Handfasting is an ancient ritual in which a couple’s hands are bound together with cords or ribbons to symbolize their union. It has roots in Celtic, Norse, and Anglo-Saxon cultures, and was historically used as a form of betrothal or even marriage.
The term comes from the Old Norse handfesta, meaning “to strike a bargain by joining hands.” The phrase “tying the knot” originates from this tradition.
Historical Timeline
- c. 7000 BCE: Early forms of handfasting appear in ancient Celtic and Pagan cultures as symbolic unions.
- 12th–17th centuries: In medieval Scotland and Ireland, handfasting is recognized as a legitimate form of marriage. These “irregular marriages” required no clergy, just mutual consent and public declaration.
- Late 1600s–1700s: Handfasting becomes a “trial marriage” lasting a year and a day. If the couple chooses to stay together, they formalize the union; if not, they part ways.
- 19th century: Romanticized in literature, notably by Walter Scott in The Monastery (1820), which popularized the idea of handfasting as a dramatic and emotional commitment.
- 20th–21st centuries: Revived in modern Pagan, Wiccan, and spiritual communities. Today, it’s widely used as a symbolic or ceremonial alternative to traditional weddings.
What Happens During the Ceremony?
The ceremony is flexible and deeply personal. Common elements include:
- Vow exchange: Spoken promises or intentions.
- Binding of hands: Using cords or ribbons, often in an infinity loop.
- Color symbolism: Each ribbon may represent a value or blessing.
- Optional rituals: Ring exchange, jumping the broom, shared drink, or readings.
The ceremony is often held outdoors, ideally in natural surroundings such as forests, beaches, or gardens. Nature enhances the spiritual and symbolic aspects, though it’s not mandatory.
Ribbon Colors and Their Meanings
Couples often choose ribbon colors based on symbolic meanings. Here’s a comprehensive guide:
| Color | Symbolism |
|---|---|
| White | Purity, devotion, new beginnings |
| Ivory | Elegance, timelessness, sacred connection |
| Black | Empowerment, protection, mystery |
| Gray | Balance, neutrality, wisdom |
| Silver | Inspiration, intuition, protection |
| Gold | Prosperity, unity, celebration |
| Copper | Vitality, grounding, earthy passion |
| Red | Passion, strength, fertility, courage |
| Orange | Abundance, enthusiasm, kindness |
| Peach | Softness, gratitude, nurturing love |
| Coral | Warmth, harmony, emotional balance |
| Yellow | Charm, clarity, joy |
| Green | Growth, luck, renewal |
| Olive | Peace, endurance, rootedness |
| Brown | Stability, grounding, home |
| Blue | Loyalty, peace, wisdom, sincerity |
| Light Blue | Health, patience, emotional clarity |
| Dark Blue | Strength, longevity, inner wisdom |
| Turquoise | Communication, healing, serenity |
| Teal | Renewal, emotional depth, clarity |
| Purple | Power, transformation, spiritual depth |
| Lavender | Tranquility, grace, spiritual healing |
| Burgundy | Depth, mature love, resilience |
Ribbons can be braided together or laid individually as vows are spoken. Some couples make their own cords for added meaning.
How to Organize Your Own Handfasting
Planning a handfasting ceremony is all about personalization. Here’s what you’ll need:
Essentials
- Cords or ribbons: Choose colors and materials that reflect your values.
- Officiant: Can be a celebrant, friend, or spiritual guide.
- Location: Nature is ideal; forest, meadow, beach, or garden.
- Script: Write your own vows or use traditional blessings.
- Guests: Invite loved ones to witness or participate.
Themed Ceremony Packages
Here are two popular handfasting styles with suggestions for food, dress, and decor:
Scottish-Inspired Handfasting
- Dress code: Kilts, tartan sashes, Celtic jewelry, rustic boots.
- Food: Whisky toast, oatcakes, smoked salmon, cranachan (dessert).
- Decor: Heather, thistles, tartan ribbons, candles in lanterns.
- Extras: Bagpipe music, quaich (shared drinking cup), castle or moorland setting.
Pagan/Nature-Based Handfasting
- Dress code: Flowing robes, floral crowns, barefoot or leather sandals.
- Food: Seasonal dishes, mead, berry tarts, herbal teas.
- Decor: Wildflowers, crystals, feathers, handmade altar, bonfire.
- Extras: Circle of stones, elemental blessings (earth, air, fire, water), moon phase alignment.
These themes can be mixed or adapted to suit your personal style and beliefs ❤️
Example Structure for a Handfasting Wedding Day
This sample is designed for a relaxed, nature-based celebration but can be adapted to suit any couple’s style.
Suggested Day Schedule
| Time | Activity |
|---|---|
| 14:00 | Guests arrive, informal welcome |
| 14:30 | Opening words and ceremony introduction |
| 14:45 | Handfasting ceremony begins |
| 15:15 | Optional ritual: toast, shared drink, or jumping the broom |
| 15:30 | Group photos, mingling |
| 16:00 | Reception meal, picnic, or buffet |
| 17:30 | Speeches, storytelling, or guest blessings |
| 18:00 | Music, dancing, bonfire, or relaxed gathering |
| 20:00 | Either gentle closing or continued celebration with friends |
Couples can choose to end the evening with a quiet ritual or let the festivities flow into the night with music and connection.
Ceremony Flow Example
1. Opening Words
The officiant welcomes guests and introduces the meaning of handfasting. This sets the tone and invites everyone into the ritual space.
2. Vow Exchange
The couple shares personal vows or intentions. These can be written in advance or spoken from the heart.
3. Binding of Hands
Cords or ribbons are placed and tied around the couple’s joined hands. Each ribbon may be introduced with its color and symbolic meaning.
4. Blessing or Reading
Optional poem, spiritual text, or words from a loved one.
5. Optional Rituals
- Ring exchange
- Jumping the broom (see below)
- Shared drink from a quaich or ceremonial cup
- Elemental blessings (earth, air, fire, water)
6. Declaration of Union
The officiant acknowledges the couple’s symbolic union. This can be poetic, heartfelt, or humorous, whatever suits the couple.
7. Transition to Celebration
Guests are invited to embrace the couple, offer blessings, or simply move into the next part of the day. This moment can be marked with music, a toast, or a shared ritual.
What Is “Jumping the Broom”?
Jumping the broom is a symbolic act often included in handfasting ceremonies. The couple leaps over a broom laid on the ground, representing:
- Leaving behind the old life and stepping into a new one together
- Cleansing and transition
- Crossing the threshold into shared partnership
The broom itself may be decorated with flowers, ribbons, or herbs. In some traditions, guests are invited to jump afterward to share in the blessing.
This ritual has roots in Welsh, Romani, and West African cultures, and was historically used when formal marriage rites were inaccessible. Today, it’s a joyful and meaningful addition to many ceremonies.
Legal Considerations and Optional Documentation
Handfasting is typically not legally binding on its own. However, couples who wish to formalize their union can:
- Register their marriage separately with a civil authority
- Sign a symbolic document together, such as a handfasting certificate or personal vow scroll
- Include witnesses to affirm the commitment, even if not legally required
Laws vary by country and region, so couples should check with their local registry office or government to understand what’s needed for legal recognition.
Some couples choose to do the legal paperwork quietly before or after the handfasting, while the ceremony itself becomes the emotional and communal centerpiece.
Photo by Simon Kessler on Unsplash